Sitting in the recovery room after Karen's procedure, I am awash with thoughts and emotions as Karen lays sleeping on the hospital bed beside me. I reflect on the words of the physician who, though very kind, kept referring to our child as tissue. Tissue. How very clinical. Void of emotions. I suppose it really is, isn't it? Clinical and void of emotions, I mean. After all, this procedure is not performed only on those who must have a dead child removed from them. It is performed regularly on those who have absolutely normal and healthy children growing inside. I suppose one must convince themselves that it is only tissue in order to perform this so often and in varying circumstances?

Ten minutes. Did you know that? It takes only ten minutes to complete such a procedure.

In a much deeper way, I hurt for those individuals who have elected to “terminate a pregnancy.” Denial only goes so far. I mean, I suppose for a while you can buy into all the talk of “tissue” and “product of conception” and so forth, but not in the long run...not most people. I can't buy that. In spite of what you tell yourself, down in your heart you know this is more than tissue. You know this is life...and you know when it's gone. Today, we didn't have tissue removed or some by-product of conception. It doesn't matter what I tell myself to try and make it less than it is--my heart doesn't lie. My heart is no different than anyone else's...it refuses to be easily broken over a lie or self-deception.

On my way back to the hospital after taking our son to school, almost time for Karen's surgery to begin, a song came on the radio. It was the song that I mentioned on my last post. It provided me a few moments of holy mourning as I worshiped God through this personal storm. In that moment I was comforted and reassured that He was there.

I don't think one realizes the pain and sense of loss unless or until you go through it. It is so common it almost becomes a sterile fact of life. Sure, 1 in 3 pregnancies end in miscarriage, but so what? Those don't lessen the individual loss but rather illuminate the scope of how many people this touches.

I praise God for the comfort that He has provided us.

You know, we went through this involuntarily. I can't imagine the pain that can come from going through this under different circumstances. Even then, though, these are people who need to know that there can be healing and there can be forgiveness.

Thanks again for all the concern that has been expressed to us from literally around the world. You have blessed us tremendously.

Labels: David C. Price